Seriously! It's not about you. It's about me.

Walking back from class

"Sometimes we laugh
Sometimes we scream
But we still run to chase these dreams" - "Somedays" by Lostprophets

Now I know this title may sound dramatic, emo, and a bit conceited. However, there is a reason why I did this. I want to emphasize my message. I'm sure at some point in everyone's life, there has been one or multiple persons that did not encourage your dreams or held you back from them. It is terrible when it's a friend or partner. It is unacceptable and horrendous when it is one's own family, and yes, you can bet that I have this problem indeed!

  This post is not singularly about venting but about moving past this obstruction. It is too simple to blame our lives on another person and scream, "It's not my fault if only..." and so on. Yet, my life is my own, and therefore, my future is as well. I have worked extremely hard these past few years to get where I am in life now physically, emotionally, mentally, and academically. It was not mere reflection but an ongoing battle to improve my life.

 Fast forward to today, I am a strong student with good grades, involved in multiple organizations at Purdue already, and will hopefully graduate only one semester later than originally planned (that is due to transferring schools). I am not trying to boast, but I am proud of myself.

So here's is my complaint...when a daughter tells her one of her parents about how hard she is working for her future, only a response like this could annoy me this much, "You're going into more debt though" or my favorite "You won't be able to pay back your loans." This is just a generic version of the multiple times I have heard this or some version of this or some type of discouragement. Really? How dare someone doubt my ability to figure out my future or to succeed? I have done pretty well so far. Further more, yeah I am in debt because of school, but stopping school now and working at a factory is not going to cut it. I refuse to ruin my life just because this person is miserable in theirs.

Okay...I feel better now. It is just beyond frustrating. I will be the only person in my immediate family to graduate college, and I am working day and night to fulfill my dreams. I am beyond aware that as a teacher I will not make a lot of money. However, I can and WILL figure it out.

As elementary as it may sound, this is my life and I will shape it how I see fitting. Who does not want better for their own children? It makes me sad, but this difficulty gives me strength. I am doing this for me, and that makes it worthwhile. I have a support team of certain family members, friends who are like my family, and a partner who brings out the best in me. I may have a different kind of life from others around me, but it is no less wonderful.

Here is my advice (after my little rant)...make your own life as wonderful and beautiful as you want, do not let anyone stop you (including crazy family members), and do not give up. Someday, even today for me, it is and was all worth it.